What to Look for in Social Groups for Autistic College Students- and Red Flags to be Aware of.

Updated: Sep 25

What to look for in a neurodiversity-affirming social group for a college student

1. Respect for autonomy & identity

The group is by choice and centered around self-defined goals (friendship, networking, shared interests, advocacy—not “fixing” anyone).
There’s no pressure to perform neurotypical behaviors (eye contact, small talk, etc.).

2. Peer-centered, not infantilizing

The group treats participants as adults.
Facilitators avoid “teaching down” or running it like a kid’s classroom.
Emphasis is on mutual exchange—students learning from each other, not just from an “expert.”

3. Strength-based & interest-driven

Activities are built around participants’ passions (gaming, advocacy, art, STEM, anime, writing, etc.) which create natural ways to connect.
Members are encouraged to share their knowledge/skills with the group.

4. Flexible communication

All forms of communication are respected: spoken words, text chat, AAC, body language, scripts, or memes.
Online/virtual meetups might be an option, honoring that many young Autistic adults thrive socially online.

5. Safe & inclusive environment

The group openly values neurodiversity and has zero-tolerance for ableism, racism, sexism, homophobia, or transphobia.
Sensory-considerate spaces are provided (quiet corners, fidgets, permission to wear headphones).

6. Life skills through connection

If skills are explored, they’re framed as tools for empowerment (e.g., “how to self-advocate with a professor,” “navigating group projects,” “finding supportive roommates”), not “how to act normal.”
Emotional regulation is supported through co-regulation, mindfulness, or peer support—not discipline.

7. Inclusion of Autistic voices

Ideally, Autistic adults are co-facilitators, peer mentors, or part of the leadership.

Curriculum (if there is one) is designed with input from Autistic people.

There is a focus on “correcting deficits” (e.g., “appropriate” eye contact, handshake training).
Treating students like children instead of adults.
Overemphasis on fitting in with neurotypical peers instead of finding authentic connection.
Behaviorist strategies that reward “passing as normal.”
No Autistic representation in leadership or design.

“Is this group about making friends and building community, or about fixing behaviors?”
“Are Autistic voices represented in leading the group?”
“How do you make sure all forms of communication are respected?”
“How do you handle sensory needs and self-regulation?”
“What kinds of activities or topics do you focus on?”

TIP: for a college-aged Autistic student, the most affirming “social group” might not even be called that.

a support circle co-run with Autistic adults.

The key is that it feels like belonging and empowerment, not like being taught how to act.

A neurodiversity-affirming group should feel like: belonging + choice + respect.

If it feels like performance, pressure, or “fixing,” it’s not the right fit.